Jimmy Kimmel returned with original episodes Monday night after a weeklong vacation and spent nearly his entire 16-minute monologue responding to the Donald Trump news he missed — including the president launching fresh attacks against the ABC Jimmy Kimmel Live! host.
Detailing a fundraising email where the president accused Kimmel of being “back at it again,” Kimmel responded, “I was in my house doing nothing!”
“The subject line was, ‘DJT: Get Trump out of your mouth’ — which somehow is not a line from the Trump-Epstein files,” Kimmel said. “Please give [money] until his feelings don’t hurt anymore, folks. Why is the president in his second term even sending fundraising emails? Maybe he needs to pay all the big, beautiful tariffs he has to give back now.”
Noting that the Supreme Court shot down Trump’s widely unpopular tariffs as “illegal,” Kimmel called the ruling “Donald Trump’s most humiliating legal defeat — yet even more than the one with the porn star where he farted through the whole trial. So what do you do in a situation like that, where you get smacked down very publicly by your own conservative court? Well, I’ll tell you what you do.”
And that, of course, was Trump announcing he would declassify files related to UFOs and aliens. “That’s right, he’s sending in the aliens. … it really makes you stop and wonder what the hell could be in those 3 million Trump-Epstein files.”
Kimmel noted that Trump complained about his approval rating, with the president noting that he was at 40 percent.
“You are at 36 percent,” he countered. “The latest polls show that Donald Trump is going into the State of the Union tomorrow with his lowest approval numbers. [He has this] weird pathological reflex to jack up the number. It’s so automatic. Even when it’s like a bad number, he jacks it up to a slightly less bad number. The good news is that I don’t think this [distraction] is working anymore.”
